There are plenty of women out there who drink – and love - craft beer. That’s not news to most of you. Still, I thought I’d use my inaugural post to talk about a few issues that are either unique to, or more keenly felt by, all the single ladies.
Dieting – Chicks are ALWAYS on diets, amirite? That’s all well and good when your bevvie of choice is Mich Ultra. But for us craft beer girls, this is a serious issue. If you’re a hophead like me, I’m here to tell you that 12 ounces of your typical double/imperial IPA has almost 300 calories. You’re welcome.
Bars – Every now and then, you want to go a bar by yourself for a drink. Maybe you’re like me and newish in town. Maybe all of your girlfriends are busy breastfeeding. Maybe you just feel like it. But going to a bar alone can be a dicey proposition for a female.
You don’t have to be even a little bit attractive to receive unwanted male attention at a bar. Sometimes you get typical creeper stuff. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you get Condescending Beer Guy. You know him. He’s roughly equivalent to Let Me Explain Football To You Guy or Do You Need A Spot On That Machine? Guy. His go-to line is usually something like “Hey there, little lady. Have you had that before? It’s a pretty serious beer. You might like this better…”
Disclaimer: a knowledgeable beer guy who assumes that I’m a knowledgeable beer girl and chats me up accordingly is a lovely thing. Which brings me to…
Dating – Every now and then, I break down and do a little online dating. Right from the outset, there’s trouble. What do you say when it asks how much you drink? I believe in total honesty in the online dating profile (I know, what a chump), but my friends advise when reading a guy’s profile to bump him up one level (e.g. if he says he drinks “rarely”, it’s really “sometimes”). So, what if I give an honest answer and he bumps ME up a level? He’ll probably think I’m more in need of an AA sponsor than a boyfriend. It’s quite the conundrum.
But let’s just say it all works out and you have your first date. So many wonderful moments… When your eyes first meet… When his hand accidentally brushes yours... When it’s time to place your drink order and he says “I’ll have a beer.” Or, if he’s REALLY showing off for you, “I’ll have whatever’s on draft.”
(hokey needle scratch sound effect here)
Bottom line, ladies: it’s a jungle out there. All we can do is Keep Calm and Drink On.