When you work in customer service nothing is implausible, and furthermore, you can expect to be blown away daily by the stupidity of everyday-average humans. The things that you’d never anticipate hearing, I mean never, not once in your life can be heard here, and the questions people ask, they’re even worse. If I recall correctly, even as a young child attending grade school, I was told, “There is no such thing as a dumb question.” Well, I have news for you, yes there is, and if you’re reading this I want to ask you to please consider the words that are about to exit your mouth in an audible format, because over the past few weeks I’ve been exposed to far too much idiotic blather and I’d like to spare the rest of the world.
Thoughts such as these started just a few months ago, though I’ve been skeptical of the human race for quite some time now. I took a job in a call center as a technician that helps people troubleshoot thru their internet and television issues, and little did I know that when taking that position I’d also be inheriting the anger that must come along with trying to potty-train people.
Never in my life have I heard more backwood accents and un-comprehendible jargon as I have during these past few weeks. To pick up the phone, answer it, and then be cussed out by someone that you know must be 400 pounds or more, have one of their hands buried in a cheeto bag while the other is massaging a hoagie into their face is pretty nice. Actually, I like that a lot, especially when I can clearly hear the cow-like chewing sound of them gnawing down Little Debbies and Moon Pies. What I also enjoy is speaking to the classic Marlboro man redneck, chain-smoking and coughing lung butter all over the phone’s receiver while I try to convey directions to him as to how he should program his television set to the right signal. That too has become one of my favorite things to do.
I’m attentively writing these questions and comments down each day in hopes to make million in the near future when I publish a book about these things. It amazes me how dumb ninety-percent of the people out there are, and don’t get me wrong, there’s a select few that aren’t, and they’re generally polite, can be reasoned with, and will be receptive to instruction as I try to tell them what they need to do next in order to resolve the issue at hand. There’s really no lying when I say this though, I enjoy what I do immensely, and find very much enjoyment in waking up to do it daily.
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Photo courtesy of Damian Gerlach
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