Divorce can be nasty. According to my friend Kathy, it can feel like Jack Bauer’s “Russian Gulag Towel Torture” on 24, where someone stuffs a towel down your throat and pulls your guts back out. You can Google it. As I have watched several friends’ relationships crumble, I've built a playlist to help the hurt! In putting these together, I’ve identified some melodic genres of heartache, what they drink and where they hang.
1) The So What category: These are the people flipping off the ex as they walk out the door. Put in Cee Lo Green (F You), Pink (So What), and throw in Justin Timberlake’s middle finger to Britney, (Cry Me a River) and Christina Aguilera’s, (Fighter). These "F&@K YOU, I’m still a Rock Star” folks drink mass produced, but craft sounding beer like Heineken or Rolling Rock, think Captain’s Quarters on a Sunday night.
2) Big Girls Carry a Grudge category: Nothing worse than a woman scorned, and the bigger the woman, the bigger the scorn. This playlist is for those who feel completely innocent in the break-up. It must include Adele (Someone Like You or Rolling in the Deep). Slap in Kelly Clarkson (Because of You) and let them ride the wave of anger. Their perferred drink is a full bodied red at L&N Wine Bar.
3) The I No Longer Groom category: Heavy dose of Alanis (You Oughta' Know) is a MUST. Tori Amos, Liz Phair, Fiona Apple are needed to round out this furious fiefdom. These tragically hip hang at Nachbar, on Charles Street and their drink of choice, Absinthe.
4) The Take This & Shove It Category: Start with (Kiss This) Aaron Tippin, also (Here Comes Goodbye) Rascal Flatts and (You’ll think of Me) Keith Urban. Crank up the heat & anger with (Kerosene) Miranda Lambert and (Best Days of Your Life) Kellie Pickler. Provide shots of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort as needed, while line dancing the night away at Saddle Ridge on 4th Street.
5) Jim Porters Cougar Category: Jim Porter’s, on Lexington Road, is known to attract a slightly older crowd of “recently available” people. For this group, start with (Go your own way) Fleetwood Mac, (Missing You) John Waite, sprinkle in (Broken Wings) Mr. Mister and finish with (At This Moment) Billy & The Beaters (you still remember it from FAMILY TIES), then order up a Long Island Ice Tea at JP’s.
These are just a few; I know there are more I should put into rotation, suggestions?