If I’m going to have my cold fingers ripped out of this year’s hand in just a smattering of days, I want to puff up my literary chest and burp a cataclysmic crescendo of unparalleled word beauty. I want to drip the saccharine nectar of Meaning, lace it with lyric and language candy. I want this last time. Last thing. Last Moment of Last Article – here it comes! – to make our toes curl up in that thrumming tingle.
That’s so silly. I’m so silly. This is silly. Take your youngins’ to the New Years Eve Party and get crafty and silly for free at that most wonderful community watering hole – the Library. If you’re going to end a year, you should always end it around books and people and other Good Things.
I’m so silly. Me and my frantic goals of poignancy. Words are supposed to just fall out when they’re hot with beating wings. I know this. Their arms pump without effort and they just slide down your tongue like gummy candy and you don’t need to do anything except hold your jaw wide open so they have enough room for a good take-off. You just need to stay out of the way. The “heck-outta” kind of Out Of The Way.
But – look at me – I don’t want to stay out of the way, here. Look at me: an obstinate toad standing like a brick wall right where I know I should not. I’m clogged with mortar.
It’s because I’m afraid. I don’t know what to do with Last Moments. It’s like a sick baby in your arms. Let me tell you something about them. Last Moments:
People don’t like to say Goodbye. The Bye is never going to be as Good as it needs to be. Whatever verbal, emotional and physical contract established there during Last Moment is just not something that could ever be an adequate and honest summary of whatever it is that is ending. It’s thin. Vapor. A shade.
It’s why people don’t say Goodbye. Or why others try to say it four times and wind up jumping out of a car, delirious with no sleep and their heart on fire. That last one may also be mildly a thing. But that freight train of Last Moment is going barrel into your pathetic wall of human-toad stubbornness. It’s going to obliterate you. You poor Humpty-Dumpty. Nobody is ever ready for a freight train.
You should huddle up close with others as we finish this year and tie it off. Huddle close and maybe do some singing and some hugging and talk about the chronological moments of 2012 that you remember the best. It really doesn’t need to be scary if you do it with other people.
So. Here it is. Last Moment. Still not ready. What do I say? Here it is.
The New Year’s Eve Part at the Louisville Free Public Library, Monday, December 31st, at 2pm. The Louisville Free Public Library’s Main branch is located at 301 York Street.
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