The great mascot tournament continues; keep in mind this whole ridiculous thing originated from my own excitement about the start of football season; and in particular local and high school sports. With that in mind our bracket that were looking at today is by far our biggest yet, featuring a field of twenty mascots but which of these mascots will reign supreme?
Just a quick reminder in this, different mascots from area high schools go head to head, the winner has nothing to do with the school or that school’s respective athletics, but rather it’s completely based on the individual mascot.
The Ballard Bruin vs. The Butler Bear
Here we have an interesting matchup because essentially we have a battle between two bears. This is like Smoky vs. Yogi (both of whom I would argue are smarter than the average bear). You got to go with the Butler Bear though because it’s so filled with rage that the Ballard Bear gets a fancy name, when it’s basically the same animal.
Winner: The Butler Bear
The Central Yellowjacket vs. The Doss Dragon
A yellowjacket is a mean insect, they’ll sting a man for lookin’ at ‘em funny, however it’s facing off against a dragon here! A dragon, ladies and gentlemen, it breathes fire and is huge. A dragon is so crazy it doesn’t even exist! I mean, there are two kinds of yellowjackets, the insect and an actual yellow jacket.
Winner: The Doss Dragon
The Manual Ram vs. The Eastern Eagle
We got a bird of prey and essentially a mammal of prey here. The Eagle is quick and can fly, that’s a huge advantage but flight or no flight as soon as that ram gets its hand around the neck of that eagle its pretty much done for.
Winner: The Manual Ram
The Fairdale Bulldog vs. The Fern Creek Tiger
You can pet a bulldog, just try to pet a tiger and see what happens to you.
Winner: The Fern Creek Tiger
The Iroqious Raider vs. The Jeffersontown Charger
All right, we got two guys here both of whom kind of do the same thing. Which is to say, take whatever they want at whatever cost, however I fear the Charger has ignored his mounting credit card debt.
Winner: The Iroquois Raider
The Male Bulldog vs. The Pleasure Ridge Park Panther
I love bulldogs, but again and this goes for the former bulldog we saw you can play fetch with a bulldog. You can only play fetch with a panther if it’s fetching your foot.
Winner: The Pleasure Ridge Park Panther
The Seneca Hawk vs. The Southern Trojan
You ever seen 300? SPARTA!
Winner: The Southern Trojan
The Valley Viking vs. The Waggener Wildcat
The wildcat lunges for the Viking, but the Viking is an expert at domesticating animals. Pretty soon, that wildcat has become a chubby lasagna eating wise-cracker.
Winner: The Valley Viking
The Western Warrior vs. The Shawnee Golden Eagle
The Warrior is looking around waiting to strike when out of nowhere the Eagles swoops in claiming his victory seemingly out of thin air.
Winner: The Shawnee Golden Eagle
The Atherton Rebel vs. The Brown Bear
Sadly, the Rebel rebels against this tournament deciding it’s not for him, the Bear wins out of default.
Winner: The Brown Bear
And there’s round one of the public school bracket, the remaining competitors will be getting ready for tomorrow when the tournament will resume, match-ups then include:
The Butler Bear vs. The Doss Dragon, The Manual Ram vs. The Fern Creek Tiger, The Iroquois Raider vs. The Pleasure Ridge Park Panther, The Southern Trojan vs. The Valley Viking, and the Shawnee Golden Eagle vs. The Brown Bear
Who will win? Who will care? Everything continues tomorrow.
Image courtesy of image shack