I like karaoke. Really, I do. A couple of weeks ago, actually, on Saturday night, I went to Bearno's Pizza (1318 Bardstown Road) with my wife and a friend and sang Eminem's "Just Lose It." I sprinted around the bar, screaming my head off. Such a blast. The other patrons just sort of stared at me, though, not sure whether to laugh or cry or walk out the front door. Because here's the thing: Serious karaoke singers go to Bearno's (1318 Bardstown Road) to belt out tunes. I think one lady who sang a Fleetwood Mac song actually believed she was Stevie Nicks. And the dude who sang "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes had a growl in his voice that made me think he was Chris Robinson's doppelgänger.

So, yeah, Bearno's draws some talented singers to the mic. Well, that tends to be the case unless the restaurant is hosting a night of kids' karaoke, often Thursday evenings from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. I went in once with my wife and in-laws to get a bite to eat. The outdoor speakers were already broadcasting the horror. When we walked in, some boys from the same baseball team had just started "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." The lyrics were power drills that burrowed deep into our ear canals. I could be mistaken, but I think my mother-in-law developed a nosebleed. We lasted until "Buy me some peanuts" but couldn't stick around to see if they made it to "and Cracker Jack." We went somewhere else for dinner because, frankly, it would have been weird eating in noise-canceling headphones.